Infamously, you won’t be happy unless you love where you are, who you are, what you’re doing and who it’s with. But why does it feel that's such an unreachable achievement sometimes?

I believe that it’s a state of mind where your external reality humms to the same internal vibration within your heart. If this is true, everything your five senses take in on a day align with where your heart is.

Shiva’s trick is life's impermanence.

We often don’t factor in change when we’re changing. Whether it be a new job, new move, new relationship, moving out, etc., if we stay present the change is occurring before our eyes without our following, and we’re okay with it. If we get lost in our days, the change feels more abrupt. As Shiva does her dance, all good things come to an end, right?

However, even when you get what you want, say you manifest it, there’s always a Shiva dancing in the murmurs with a sacrifice you must give to have what you want. It’s your choice to decide if that sacrifice is worth trading.

What happens when it’s out of our control, if a way of not expecting it to be so sudden? Well, there is a tendency for it to be harder to let go. An unknowing if it was for us anymore or if we keep riding looking for the same tree amongst hundreds that we once hammocked underneath. Walking the earth holding on to our memories and fearing the unknown we’re always sitting with.

Life plays her game with you for you to receive all of her signs, and she gives you choices. Listen and follow the wind, or don’t and get caught in the sagebrush, time and time again.

The subtlety of the matter is that our ego conceptualizes that we’re capable of actually having control over our directions in life. While there’s choices we make for the better or worse, that we may have some control over. However, control over those choices destiny, that work out for the better or worse, is ultimately out of our hands.

And the change that we desperately want to prevent, and the most precious moments with a lover, the expansiveness in our souls of a mountain view, that bittersweet sunset frozen in time, all the parts we never wanted to end and you could drown in the love of that, all sheds.

Time doesn’t stop unless you do. That’s why I think it’s important to become quiet and get really clear with what you want while you’re walking this earth. We’re all here for our own purpose, if you are trying to force something or not living where your heart is, what might you change to see if it works out? Or is your fear of it not working out already blocking you from everything you’ve ever wanted? Or perhaps, fear of letting something go you’re not ready to.

“Destiny is a hard thing to run from.” (Source: Yellowstone)

Destiny, the hidden power believed to control what will happen in the future. Another dance with the concept of destiny is most of the time our mind speaks to one and our heart speaks to another. Unfortunately, we separate the two. We live with a cultivated tendency of practicality over the whimsicalness of our hearts knowing. Meaning, we don’t believe in our own truth because we’re so disconnected from self. We don’t live in our hearts because it’s too accurate and practicality gives us something closer to hold onto that makes sense. We must meet somewhere in the middle, if not closer to the heart.

While you might think you’re meant to be the CEO of that company, but you get fired next week or hate everyday you walk through those doors, then what?

Your inner heart jungle child might come screaming at your door and next thing you know you see cheap plane tickets to a foreign country on your instagram feed and fly across the world and end up wanting to stay because you find yourself volunteering in a small jungle town to save the permaculture and never want to return to your pants suit and tie life because you followed a path that others shamed your heart as crazy and unfathomable which unlocked the mysteries of yourself you never thought capable.

Yes, that was supposed to be a run-on sentence. Try saying that all with one breath, it might feel good. One sentence can explain and completely not explain the intricacy of a lifetime worth of experience.

We push our hearts away, and sometimes it’s necessary to be where we are until we get where we want to go. Sometimes it’s necessary to sit in the darkness of the womb of all your experience to understand the next direction. Sometimes, most often, that’s the most painful part.

My love, no one finds comfortability in not knowing where the next stepping stone is, or what it is. It takes courage, curiosity, and the truest form of self honoring to do it though.

May this year invite you to open up to your power of courage and clarity, before you’re ready to do so. Many blessings and unveiling of your truth for 2023.

Xx,

Ray of Light

Feel Slow. Heal Slow. Love Slow.

Please feel open to reach out for more support during this time via email or @kieran.bammann Instagram