Film photograph by Kieran Bammann; Vermont Untitled Collection

She slithers with her grip around the surface of your ego, sheltering your precious integrity, safe from the threat of others' influence, from the overwhelm. She warns you with immediacy when someone has achieved more than you and gracefully loosens her grip when you feel pride in your ambitions while downgrading others with a sense of betterness. Like a breath of short air. Her mystical way of showing you how she is your fear of progressing and your holding on to the same story. She longs to rattle your intuition with her whisper, if you listen. She is Comparison. She either chokes you or wraps around tenderly letting you not forget she is there, but trusts you. Can you trust her?

Comparison can be our darkness or it can be our literal beauty. She can seduce you with her lies and you believe them, or you can direct her energy within yourself so profoundly that you become the Goddess.

When is the nearest experience you listened and felt yourself comparing yourself to someone? Is this something that you’ve noticed holds consistency?

Women, especially women, are so unaware of this Goddess showing up. I am her, she has been me. I hear you and feel you.

The world became so exposed and infinite when the interweb came along. All of a sudden our largest resource of inspiration from school and work to models and myspace became e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e. Now it’s so accessible to see who and what anyone is doing, in real time or not. Remember the not part.

Our minds have been altered to survive in this techy space of confused consciousness. The literal world in our hands, how do we see who we are, when we spend some or most of our days experiencing so many others? When we don’t know who we are, we don’t love who we are. When we don’t completely see ourselves and love ourselves, we compare ourselves to one or anyone in our waking minds that is perceivably better.

For a moment, think… what [who] is better to you, than you? What do they have that is so much better? Is this coming from a space in you that is truth, or is fabricated? A place of stories to, perhaps, shut yourself down for the things you want but won’t allow space for in your life.

Who are you comparing yourself to monotonously? Brother or Sister, there’s usually someone. (Unless you’ve already done this shadow work– bless you, you’re brave! Continue effortlessly)

So… Ayurveda will say, there’s no fix for your mental challenges simply because no one, not even Doctors, can fix you except the ROOT Mama, You. However, Ayurveda offers a remedy.

Well Kieran, what is my remedy!?

Aside from love, it begins with you. Just as we feel our demons cannot be our friends, feelings hold our truth.

When that Goddess snake slithers along seeking to choke out those good emotions with thoughts of not being good enough, she’s trying to reveal to you that there is a disconnect with yourself that needs some lovey attention before you deplete all of your ojas.

Comparison shows up to be our Goddess in a lunar realm, and our guide in a solar one. It asks you to hold the truth with yourself. Everything you take in and all that you see that strikes her venomous desire, passion, want, and need is not meant to discourage you. It’s meant to reveal what you actually have and want in your life that you are not giving to yourself or letting yourself receive. Read that again, and possibly again.

This Goddess Comparison, like Shiva, shows up to show you what you want more of in your life that you’ve not been giving to yourself. And she shows up as someone who you either think you hate or admire. Yet, they’re the same feeling because their emotional intensity is equivalent in terms of love.

Your remedy is yours to create, to evolve, to work on, to fail, to try again, to marry and hold sacred in your heart.

Think of that someone who niggles you. Or think of that someone who you compare for an ego boost. Contemplate why, and what they have that is so much better or how you think you’re so much better. Write it down. Search for the coincidences and humble yourself to also feel all the other things that person might be going through or did go through to get where you want to be like they are. Let these niggles be a calling from the divine to wake you up to experience the grandest life you want to live.

It’s your intention to give yourself that permission. You’re capable of their light, in your own divine way. Remember, you can make the same sauce, but the sauce won’t ever taste the same. (;

Ayurveda suggests we recognize those humans in your world that cause a ripple, or tension as our greatest healers, not enemies.

A little affirmation but I encourage you to create your own: I give myself permission to feel this emotion of comparison, yet allow myself to overcome and see that I have all of these qualities and I can do so, too.

Without comparison, our minds open up to love and equality. What a peaceful world.

If you want to work with me one on one, and let myself and Ayurveda guide your understanding of yourself deeper, feel free to reach out via. Email or instagram.

~ OM ~

Thank you my loves, until next time.

Xx,

Ray of Light